Charge for the auditbefore you open the URL.
Someone sends you their landing page on LinkedIn and asks what you think. You open it, you see the headline problem, the form with nine fields and the CTA below the fold, and you type it all out for free because it might turn into a retainer. It rarely does. This is the same twenty minutes as a €149 audit, paid before you look, delivered as a Loom within three days or refunded; a quote request with a monthly-spend field so the retainer conversation starts from a pipeline; a €350 strategy hour; and the peer room and weekly teardown that make people send you the URL in the first place.
Free to start. You keep 80%. Unanswered audits refund themselves at the deadline.
Refunded automatically if there's no Loom by Friday 17:00
The audit they pay for
instead of the DM.
Three fields: the URL, the channel with the monthly spend, and what the page is meant to do. That is enough to record a real teardown and short enough that a founder fills it in from their phone. The spend field is not idle curiosity; it is how you know which €149 audits are €4,000-a-month retainers in disguise. Cap it at eight a week so the deadline never bites.
Start from the roast templateThree problems, three fixes,
one Loom.
A fixed deliverable: a ten-minute Loom walking the page top to bottom, and three problems with three fixes written under it, each with the lift you would expect and how to test it. Fixed scope and one round of follow-up questions is what keeps a subjective deliverable out of dispute. The inbox sorts by nearest deadline and nudges you at half-time.
Buyer notified · €119.20 to your balance · quote request suggested at the end
Five products,
switched on in this order.
The audit first, because that is what people already ask for and what agencies already sell as the test before the retainer. Then the quote request that turns audits into pipeline, the strategy hour, the peer room and the letter. The €1,500–15,000 monthly retainer stays on your invoice.
- 1Day one · Forms & Requests
Audit my landing page, Loom in 3 days €149 · 3 days
URL, channel and spend, the goal. Loom plus three problems and three fixes as the fixed deliverable, one round of follow-up questions. A €99 ad-account roast (screenshots) as the second form. Cap at eight a week.
- 2Day one · Leads & CRM
Quote request with monthly spend free
Company, site, channels, monthly spend band, what they want to change and when. Pipeline: new → contacted → qualified (paid audit) → won (retainer) → lost. Tags by channel, spend band and industry.
- 3Week two · Bookings
Strategy hour €350 · 60 min
The scoping call, paid. Intake: site, spend, goal, who else is involved. Meet link, reminders at 24 h and 1 h, 24-hour cancellation policy. For most retainers this is the last step before the proposal.
- 4Week four · Community
Peer community, 30-day trial €69 / month · 30-day trial
Discord or Telegram for in-house marketers and other consultants: a “post your funnel, get roasted” thread, a monthly expert session, 1:1 matching. Thirty-day trial because that is the refund window the paid marketing communities already use. Cap at 150.
- 5Week six · Newsletter
Weekly funnel teardown free + €12 / month
One page, three problems, three fixes, expected lift. The screenshot and the problems are free; the annotated fixes and the swipe file are behind the €12 tier. The agent drafts from your audit notes; you edit.
Teardown #31 — a €6k/month pricing page that hides the price
A B2B telematics pricing page, Google Ads at ≈ €6k a month, 1.1% demo rate, 78% mobile bounce. Shared with the founder's permission, company name changed.
The headline describes the category. The demo form has nine fields. There is no price and no CTA in the first screen on mobile.
The rewritten headline and three alternatives to test, the two-field form with the follow-up script for the call, and the mobile layout with the sticky CTA, marked up on the screenshot.
Where 1.1% → 2–3% is realistic and where it isn't, the order to run the tests in, and the sample size you need at 6k visitors a month before you believe anything.
AI Overviews now sit on more of our clients' commercial queries than a quarter ago; what that did to CTR on three accounts. Meta moved two objectives to Advantage+ only. Two audit slots left this week.
What the weekly issue
actually contains.
One page taken apart, every Thursday. The screenshot and the three problems are free, which is what gets it forwarded to the founder whose page looks the same. The annotated fixes, the expected lift and the swipe file are the €12 part, which is what gets it renewed. Once a month, a short note on what changed in Google and Meta, and the audit slots you have left.
The agent drafts each teardown from the audits you delivered that week, anonymised; you decide which one runs and edit for ten minutes rather than writing for an evening.
A peer room priced
like the market.
Marketing peer communities already sell at $49–119 a month with a 30-day refund window, and the free Slacks in this niche are enormous and unpaid. The paid ones that hold members run on a fixed rhythm, not a channel list. ApplyForm gates the Discord or Telegram room to paying members and runs the trial and the cap; you run the rhythm below.
- MondayPost your funnel, get roasted
One thread, members post a URL, peers and you reply. Anything that needs a Loom becomes a €149 audit.
- WednesdayLive session, 45 min
Alternating: a member's funnel on screen, or a guest on one channel. Recorded to the archive.
- Monthly1:1 matching
Members paired by channel and spend band for a call. The reason the in-house people stay after they fix their page.
- QuarterlyBenchmark thread
Members share CPL, CAC and conversion by channel, anonymised. Becomes the quarterly note in the letter.
Numbers from
the market.
Most SMB audits sit at $750–2,500; a basic technical audit $500–1,500. Agencies sell the standalone audit as the test before the retainer. €149 is the async, three-field version.
From Ahrefs' survey of 439 SEOs. Freelancers bill $75–150 an hour, seniors $200 and up. The €350 strategy hour sits in the middle of that.
SEO $125, PPC $120, Meta ads $100. A €149 audit that takes twenty minutes and a Loom is priced at the hourly rate, not below it.
Exit Five Pro $49 a month or $444 a year; Traffic Think Tank $99–119; Marketing Leaders Club $99 by application. Refund window 30 days, which is why the trial here is 30 days.
Exit Five, with 30+ local chapters and monthly 1:1 matching. The demand for a paid peer room is proven; a room of 100 at €69 is the realistic version.
Typeform, Calendly, Loom, Kit and Circle, before card fees, and none of it collects payment before the audit or refunds when you miss the deadline.
Market figures from published industry and platform data, September 2026, rounded. Your prices, volume and retention will differ.
“Audits are subjective.
Won't people dispute?”
Fix the scope on the form and the dispute has nothing to hold on to: one page, one Loom of about ten minutes, three problems, three fixes, one round of follow-up questions. The work is visible in the inbox with a timestamp. Disputes on €100–200 written deliverables are rare; the real risk in this niche is retainer churn, and that is off-platform.
Say what you expect and how to test it, not what you guarantee. “1.1% to 2–3% is realistic if the headline test wins” is an estimate with a method; “we'll double your conversions” is a claim you cannot back and card processors and regulators treat it as one. The agent keeps the wording on the estimate side.
On your invoice, as now. The quote request and the strategy hour feed the pipeline; when a card moves to “won” you send the proposal from wherever you send proposals. Most of your buyers are businesses, so consumer withdrawal rules rarely apply; the booking still shows your cancellation policy at checkout.
Cap the form at eight and let the spots counter close it. Set the window to five days if your weeks are lumpy. A missed deadline refunds the buyer automatically and costs you the €149, never a public complaint.
Get paid for the audit.
Then open the URL.
Tell the agent your LinkedIn handle. It reads what you post, proposes the audit form, the quote request and the strategy hour with prices from your market, and sets them up when you create the account.